It’s happened so many times. We failed. It’s not so bad anymore-I’m actually getting used to it. But believe me, it sucks. You think we’d be able to actually beat those twerpy kids, but no, it never turns out for us. That kid’s Pikachu gets us almost every time. What makes it so special? Isn’t it just like all the others? It uses the same attacks, looks the same, sounds the same.
Personally, I think we could live without it.
“Jessie! Here they come!”
Here they come, here they come. I’ve heard that so many times I think I’ll puke. They’re always coming and we’re always waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting. The plans are always the same.
Sure, they’re original-who else would think up a Pikachu rubber balloon bazooka? Wait, is that what it was called? I can’t remember-we’ve been doing this for so long. But back to the ‘plans are always the same’ thing. I mean it, they are. They always fail, every single one. Some go a bit farther than others but in the end, are always stopped by those twerps.
The Butterfrees, for instance. We’d captured every single one, except the twerp’s, and made our getaway. But by missing that one, we blew it. It followed us and told the brats where we were. It broke the cage and let all the Butterfree escape. The P-1 tournament. If that Pikachu hadn’t snagged that bomb we planted, we would have won. Hitmonlee was in the air, just the press of a button and Primeape would be roasted. But, since we’re Team Rocket and it was one of our plans, it failed.
Surprised? You shouldn’t be. I’ve got lots more where that came from.
“Let’s go Jessie!”
Meowth. Always taking charge. Sometimes, I swear I could kill that furball. He can be so annoying! And he’s always making US do the dirty work. In Dingy City, he practically got is killed! Making us go in the sewer was bad enough. But not having enough sense to make that machine battery powered … it’s just pitiful. You think he’d do that for us but him being Meowth, never would.
“Jessie! Come on! They’re almost at the hole!”
I’ll never understand why we keep using holes. They’ve never worked before. When we tried to get the Bulbasaur in the Hidden Village, WE fell into THREE holes. No, not ‘Squeaky’ and his little friends, but us. Well, actually, two of them got stuck in a net, or so I heard, and one fell into a hole, but that’s not the point. Those weren’t our holes. The one time the brats fall into a hole, its not ours and WE’RE in a hole at the same time.
“Ahh! Meowth you put too much dirt on it!”
“Me?! You and Jessie were he ones who covered it!”
There’s never a dull moment in the exciting life of Team Rocket… you do realize I’m kidding here.
“Jessie look! It’s not working!”
No big surprise there. Fine, fine, I’ll look. The Pikachu is going across. The hole didn’t move at all. I’m not surprised. It’s not even very heavy. Following is twerp number 1, Ash. Yeah, I know I used his REAL name, which I never do, but hey, if I refer to them all as twerps all the time, things could get confusing. After is Misty. Still no change with the hole. Still, I’m not surprised. James has a nervous look on his face. He shouldn’t get his hopes up. It’s not like this is any different from our previous tries to catch Pikachu. Sure, the hole MIGHT cave in on them. Pikachu MIGHT be left standing on the side, peering down at its trainer. But as per usual, something will go wrong. And we’ll be blasting off again, after getting zapped by the Pikachu. It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. In fact, it happens almost EVERY time. I don’t know why I put up with it. You’d think I would’ve gotten a new job, a new partner, or even quit. But there’s something holding me here. I’m not quite sure what it is but it’s there. I can feel it.
“It’s still not moving!”
James is always worrying over nothing. Of course it’s not moving. Doesn’t he realize who we are and what we’re doing?
Meowth is always picking on us like that. He always thinks it’s our fault that nothing ever works and not his. Well he’s wrong. Some times it’s been his fault.
What now? Some people can be very distracting. I guess I’ll look, to shut them up. Yes, I see a hole. Yes I see a Pikachu. Yes, the twerps are no where in sight. Wait a second, I see the hole?! And Pikachu?! And no twerps?! It actually worked?! They fell into our trap?! UN-believable. Well, forget unbelievable. We gotta catch the Pikachu! And now, the famous Team Rocket Champions!
It’s been a while since we can say that truthfully. “Prepare for trouble!” That felt good. I don’t know why. It just feels different when you’re Team Rocket Champions and not Team Rocket Losers.
“Make that double!”
I wonder if James can feel it too. I mean, the Champions thing. Why is James nudging me? What went wrong this time? Oh. Right. The motto. “To protect the world from devastation!”
“To unite all peoples within our nation!”
Gotta stay focused, gotta stay focused. Oops. Missed my cue already. “To denounce the goodness of truth and love!” Now why is James giving me a weird look? Oh my god I messed up the motto! “I mean, um, to denounce the EVILS of truth and love. I think…”
“To extend our reach to the stars above!”
I feel like clobbering myself over the head right now. How could I mess up the motto? Not only that, I messed it up with Cassidy and Butch’s motto. How could I do that?! It’s not even their motto! Oh yeah, the motto. “Jessie!”
Focus, focus. “Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!”
“Surrender now or prepare to fight!”
“Meowth, that’s right!”
Surprisingly, the twerps aren’t responding. To us anyways. They’re arguing in the hole.
“Ash you idiot! How could you get us stuck in this hole?!”
“It wasn’t me Misty! It was Brock!”
“Guys, be quiet! Pikachu is up there alone with Team Rocket!”
Sad, isn’t it? Those two can never stop arguing. One of these days they’re gonna cost themselves their pokémon. Oh well. Back to catching the Pikachu. Put on the anti-Pikachu suits.
And we begin our cycle. “Arbok, go!”
“Wheezing, poison gas attack!”
You think we would have gotten more pokémon. Oh sure, I have Lickitung and James has Victreebel, but we never use them. Why? Beats me. We just don’t. The twerps seem to be responding to this. They’re pulling out their pokéballs. This can’t be a good thing.
We’re back at headquarters. I’m so tired. It’s been a long day. The boss is probably mad since we’re coming back so late. He’s very strict. And always in mystery. I wonder why. But that’s not really important. I’m in a very good mood. The boss might even be pleased with us. Hey, it could happen! It’s never happened before, but there’s a first time for everything isn’t there? Someone had to catch the first pokémon. Someone had to make the first pokéball. Someone had to be the first to get lost in Mt. Moon. Someone had to be the first to discover the legendary pokémon. Might I add that I’m not sure which ones they are. For all I know, Arbok could be legendary. The Pikachu could be legendary. Which reminds me. Time to go to the boss’s office.
Wow. That went unbelievably well. I think the boss finally has some trust and respect for us. Who would’ve thought that we’d actually do it. The twerp will probably never forgive us. Like I care about that. Why won’t this key work? Stupid door. The boss should get some new locks to our rooms. Finally! I’ve forgotten how soft a REAL bed feels. This feels so good. Not only the bed, I mean. We’ve finally done it. We got Pikachu. After so many tries we finally did it. We’ve succeeded.